THE SEARCH FOR THE SMALLEST SOVEREIGN STATES!
aka, the Dot Country Quest!
What is a dot country? According to the Oxford English Dictionary, dot countries are small fucking countries. They look like tiny little dots on a map, too small to reveal borders like the grandiose expanse of America or the big-sack-of-balls-and-small-penis shape of Austria.
At first Serendipity was uninterested--some might say outright critical--of the Dot Country Quest. She contended that dot countries are boring, expensive and are exactly like their neighbors but more boring and expensive. After much convincing, conniving, physical violence, emotional abuse and drugging, I finally convinced her it was a swell idea.
First stop: Liechtenstein!
Fun Facts:
- Liechtenstein is the second richest country in the world (GDP PPP) at over $98,000. (The highest is fellow dot-country Qatar).
- Liechtenstein is the last great brutal dictatorship in Western Europe. Technically a constitutional monarchy, the Prince wields veto powers and the ability to dissolve parliament.
- These facts are boring and you can find them on Wikipedia.
So was it worth it?
I think so. For us it was a part of a larger trip to Vorarlberg, and while Liechtenstein definitely was indistinguishable from it's neighbors, that didn't make it any less beautiful. Our first stop was the main tourist street in the capital, Vaduz:
Yeah, that's about the size of the whole city. We walked around, got an expensive but delicious lunch, and brutally violated their women:
I took advantage of Liechtenstein's primary tourist attraction:
One of the benefits of dot countries is that you can literally walk across the whole shebang. We're lazy, so we just walked the 5km between Vaduz and Schaan. The hike over was nice. We saw the home of the castle (the novelty of which diminishes exponentially the more time you spend in Europe):
Despite an embarrassing encounter with a native on the trail (sexual-inuendo winky face), we still managed to leave our mark:
Clocking in at a cool 5806 residents, Schaan is the biggest city in Liechtenstein. Schaan had some kind of city festival going on, including wine spritzer cocktail things that could fill an entire thimble and cost 7 CHF (about $7.25...a bargain in Liechtenstein!). We wised up and got dollar beers at the supermarket.
Liechtenstein also has it's own beer.
So to recap: Yes, Liechtenstein looks like everything else around it. But what's around it is gorgeous. Thomas Kincaid (RIP) would have loved it, and not just because of their lenient public urination policies. But whatever you do, don't say anything bad about the Prince! However, his wife's weird eyes are fair game:
Oh, and in a bid to compete with Qatar...they have camels!!
GRADES, on a scale of 5 dots to 1 (smaller being better, duh):
Fun: . .
Beauty: .
Food: . . .
Dot-hood: . . . (only the 4th smallest country in Europe!)
Shady banking activity: .
Presence of camels: . .
Overall: . .
Serendipity requested her own grading rubric. Her evaluation:
Next stop: Andorra!
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