Some thoughts on San Fran: probably the most European of all American cities (after New Orleans);
thought the hippie-thing was something from back in the day and that the atmosphere of the city was somehow still reverberating that love-peace-vibe. But in fact it is still a totally hippie-infested city. It doesn't seem to be a phase that teens go through but a lifestyle.
We got some lunch from a bio-chain-market called "Whole foods"...outside: a mum, her tattooed boyfriend and their child eating salad with whole grain totally unamerican totally unidentifiable somethings sprinkled on top and the following conversation: Oh, i don't like it when my kid eats processed food..somehow it makes him way more hyperactive than eating healthy stuff. you know what, kiddie...your teacher was poisoning you when she gave you these sweets. The kid, shocked, almost choking on his pesticide-free salad: what, really, she wanted to kill me?! The mum: no, she didn't wanna kill you, but she eats different things than we do. The boyfriend jumping into the conversation: I hate blablabla. The mum: No, we never 'hate'....they were the kind of people that make their kid become addicted to crystal meth at the age of 12...
Oh: and oysters as an afternoon lunch for 1 Dollar each...so yes, i have totally fallen for San Francisco.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Already in the Bay Area, San Francisco:
We are staying at the house of Daniel's uncle and cousins who are 5 and 7 now.
They say that the older one also referred to as Benjamin Button is like a 70-year-old man trapped in the body of a 7 year-old-boy; incredibly smart and totally analytical boy.
After playing a kind of fantasy baseball game with Dan and winning, he came up with the idea of creating a big news story which he later distributed to all the neighbors' houses.
This is what it looked like:
We are staying at the house of Daniel's uncle and cousins who are 5 and 7 now.
They say that the older one also referred to as Benjamin Button is like a 70-year-old man trapped in the body of a 7 year-old-boy; incredibly smart and totally analytical boy.
After playing a kind of fantasy baseball game with Dan and winning, he came up with the idea of creating a big news story which he later distributed to all the neighbors' houses.
This is what it looked like:
Julian’
s New
News
Julian gets an 8-6 Victory
By Julian R.
Julian R. beats Daniel Hendler in an 8-6 victory.
Julian did better then expected.
Julian came up in the top of the 1st and got no
points, and then Daniel came up, he
Didn’t get any points ether. The game wore on; still nobody
got any points until
The top of the 3rd. Julian was at the plate with
a man on 3rd the pitcher (Daniel)
Threw a balk the man on 3rd scored. Julian went
on to get 2 more runs
Getting a 3-0 lead, and got 2 more
in the 5th making it 5-0, but Daniel came back in the bottom
Of the 5th with 6
runs making it 6-5, but in the bottom of the 9th, it was still 6-5
and Julian was
With a man on 2nd
with 2 outs; and he hit a inside the park home run; and the game 8-6
Wednesday’s games:
15th ave world
series 12:00
A small recap: back in L.A. we went to a restaurant called "Animal", Dan's all-time favorite.
Here is the menu so that you know what we are talking about...a 100 percent meat-based selection (even the desert).
menu
Sample Menu – July 2012
chicken liver toast 3
spicy beef tendon chip, charred onion pho dip 7
heirloom melon, purslane, lemon cucumber, borage flower 9
fried ricotta salata, roasted peppers, garlic confit, wild arugula 9
marrow bone, chimichurri, caramelized onions 10
mangalitsa leaf lard, smoked trout, tomatillo, pecan, pumpernickel 11
pig tails, “buffalo style,” celery, ranch 11
lettuce, beets, avocado, pita, feta, creamy sumac 11
tomato salad, black olive, garlic crouton, boiled egg, french dressing 12
crispy pig head, little gem, chow chow, grainy mustard 12
pig ear, chili, lime, fried egg 12
melted petit basque, chorizo, grilled bread 12
sea bream crudo, cucumber, jalapeno, page mandarin 13
tandoori octopus, tamarind, blood orange, raita 13
barbeque pork belly sandwiches, slaw 13
veal brains, vadouvan, apricot puree, carrot 14
rabbit loin spring roll, eggplant, sprouts, green curry 14
hamachi tostada, herbs, fish sauce vinaigrette, peanut 15
yellowtail collar, jerk spices, citrus, kholrabi, palm sugar 16
chicken fried sweetbreads, charred romaine, crawfish xo, creme fraiche 16
beef belly, torpedo onion, shell beans, pickled soubise 17
poutine, oxtail gravy, cheddar 18
liquid porcini agnolotti, corn, burro e pepe 19
grilled quail, plum char-siu, peach, cherry, yogurt 19
balsamic pork ribs, corn & cherry tomato panzanella 19
duck breast, charred cabbage, liptauer, mustard 21
poached halibut, coconut broth, raw porcini, morels, asparagus, herbs 26
flat iron, artichoke hash, truffle parmesan fondue 28
crispy rabbit legs, sugar snap peas, chermoula aioli, meyer lemon 29
spicy beef tendon chip, charred onion pho dip 7
heirloom melon, purslane, lemon cucumber, borage flower 9
fried ricotta salata, roasted peppers, garlic confit, wild arugula 9
marrow bone, chimichurri, caramelized onions 10
mangalitsa leaf lard, smoked trout, tomatillo, pecan, pumpernickel 11
pig tails, “buffalo style,” celery, ranch 11
lettuce, beets, avocado, pita, feta, creamy sumac 11
tomato salad, black olive, garlic crouton, boiled egg, french dressing 12
crispy pig head, little gem, chow chow, grainy mustard 12
pig ear, chili, lime, fried egg 12
melted petit basque, chorizo, grilled bread 12
sea bream crudo, cucumber, jalapeno, page mandarin 13
tandoori octopus, tamarind, blood orange, raita 13
barbeque pork belly sandwiches, slaw 13
veal brains, vadouvan, apricot puree, carrot 14
rabbit loin spring roll, eggplant, sprouts, green curry 14
hamachi tostada, herbs, fish sauce vinaigrette, peanut 15
yellowtail collar, jerk spices, citrus, kholrabi, palm sugar 16
chicken fried sweetbreads, charred romaine, crawfish xo, creme fraiche 16
beef belly, torpedo onion, shell beans, pickled soubise 17
poutine, oxtail gravy, cheddar 18
liquid porcini agnolotti, corn, burro e pepe 19
grilled quail, plum char-siu, peach, cherry, yogurt 19
balsamic pork ribs, corn & cherry tomato panzanella 19
duck breast, charred cabbage, liptauer, mustard 21
poached halibut, coconut broth, raw porcini, morels, asparagus, herbs 26
flat iron, artichoke hash, truffle parmesan fondue 28
crispy rabbit legs, sugar snap peas, chermoula aioli, meyer lemon 29
tres leches, berries, opal basil 7
panna cotta, blackberry jam, sable cookie 7
roasted peach, ginger pound cake, pink peppercorn chantilly 7
bacon chocolate crunch bar, s&p ice cream 7
panna cotta, blackberry jam, sable cookie 7
roasted peach, ginger pound cake, pink peppercorn chantilly 7
bacon chocolate crunch bar, s&p ice cream 7
Monday, August 27, 2012
Day 8 Part 2: Going along the Highway One..a really scenic route along the pacific coast. America isn't that bad after all! We arrived at the campground where our boys' scout abilities were tested to the maximum while putting up the tent. My boyfriend might not be a genius as a really stupid internet quiz made him believe, but according to that he is at least gifted...well, he is definitely very dumb for trusting these kind of homepages..but he managed to understand the instructions within minutes (which were, mind you, a bit more complicated than the ones for a Malmoe Ikea cupboard).
We went on a 3 mile hike and freezed our buts off in the evening...who would have thought that after the L.A. sauna experience anything could be considered to be nippy. We met an American with long grey hair who was living the Into-the-wild experience...homeless since a couple of weeks, living in his Van with his dog...brewing tea for himself and us in the evening (probably due to the lack of something he would have really been able to enjoy like Jonny Walker Whiskey)..he basically gave us a summary of his lifestory...dad who left the family when he was in his teens, him being forced to start working at the age of 14...mum calling him once caus his dad wasn't paying the alimonies...within a couple of hours the dad had 2 guys in his apartment and a gun pointing at his face...within split seconds the dad was liquid again...after telling this story, the guy chuckled and proudly announced what was already to be expected: that he had been the one organizing the John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson-characters.
We went on a 3 mile hike and freezed our buts off in the evening...who would have thought that after the L.A. sauna experience anything could be considered to be nippy. We met an American with long grey hair who was living the Into-the-wild experience...homeless since a couple of weeks, living in his Van with his dog...brewing tea for himself and us in the evening (probably due to the lack of something he would have really been able to enjoy like Jonny Walker Whiskey)..he basically gave us a summary of his lifestory...dad who left the family when he was in his teens, him being forced to start working at the age of 14...mum calling him once caus his dad wasn't paying the alimonies...within a couple of hours the dad had 2 guys in his apartment and a gun pointing at his face...within split seconds the dad was liquid again...after telling this story, the guy chuckled and proudly announced what was already to be expected: that he had been the one organizing the John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson-characters.
Day 7 and 8: Getting stuff organized for the roadtrip...so basically driving around town collecting camping gear from different people, getting a Big Sur campsite-book from the library...finding out that our limits were too low on our credit cards while attempting to rent a car after finding out that renting would have been twice the price of the initial online suggestion (due to ludicrously high insurance costs). So an embarrassing moment later we were on the road with Dan's old car again, convincing ourselves that it was a blessing in the sky..since this roadtrip is still in the state of evolution, I won't be able to say if it will survive all the way up north.
Stayed in a seedy but spacious motel in Santa Maria on the way up to the Big Sur national park. The real American experience was complemented with a visit to Danny's, a breakfast chain where the waitresses are usually old and friendly in a granny-like-way and have a tendency of ending all their sentences with "honey" and the portions are as big as german words are long..oatmeal, bacon, overeasy eggs...what a start of the day!
Stayed in a seedy but spacious motel in Santa Maria on the way up to the Big Sur national park. The real American experience was complemented with a visit to Danny's, a breakfast chain where the waitresses are usually old and friendly in a granny-like-way and have a tendency of ending all their sentences with "honey" and the portions are as big as german words are long..oatmeal, bacon, overeasy eggs...what a start of the day!
Friday, August 24, 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Day 5: Naan, Dahl and Chicken Masala for lunch..when it comes to food, L.A. is as extravagant, fancy and individualistic as its inhabitants try to be. (Where else would you find a restaurant called the "Stinking Rose" where all the dishes, even the deserts, consist of garlic? Or who in Europe that isn't a permanent resident of a psychiatric institution would mix pancakes with fried bacon?). In the evening we got some stuff to barbecue with Dan's friends at a butcher that looked as sterile as if all the employees were embracing the idea of a vegan-lifestyle. Where were all the butchers with bloodstained clothes and sweat dripping from their foreheads for mens' testosterone to feast upon that one vaguely recalls from childhood ?! ...Sangria-infused night and a guy present at the party that had been cooking for "El Bulli" in Spain. What a food-revelatory day!
Sidenote: visited the Annenberg Photographic Museum displaying photographs of musicians..yawn, the idea of creating pop icons with the help of photos is as old as my grandmother's grandma.
Sidenote: visited the Annenberg Photographic Museum displaying photographs of musicians..yawn, the idea of creating pop icons with the help of photos is as old as my grandmother's grandma.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Day 4:
Rented a bike and drove to Santa Monica beach..a huge beach and a paved road that split it in half..so biking "along" the beach gets a completely new meaning; had the best sandwich of my life due to an empty stomach and 45 minutes of sports;
cooked for a friend of Dan in the evening..."Cioppino", a tomato fish soup recipe from Italy..not that I, being a European, would have known. Dan's friend represents what L.A. stands for: he is gay, quirky and has actor's ambitions. The talking was interrupted from time to time by his cellphone indicating the vicinity of possible dates (aka quickfucks that shouldn't be located in bumblefuck) on www.grinder.com (could there be a name giving away more?); made some blueberry pie and wanted to watch the "Romantics", the first movie Daniel has ever gotten credits for..didn't make it..my drooling after 5 min indicating it was time to go to bed.
Rented a bike and drove to Santa Monica beach..a huge beach and a paved road that split it in half..so biking "along" the beach gets a completely new meaning; had the best sandwich of my life due to an empty stomach and 45 minutes of sports;
cooked for a friend of Dan in the evening..."Cioppino", a tomato fish soup recipe from Italy..not that I, being a European, would have known. Dan's friend represents what L.A. stands for: he is gay, quirky and has actor's ambitions. The talking was interrupted from time to time by his cellphone indicating the vicinity of possible dates (aka quickfucks that shouldn't be located in bumblefuck) on www.grinder.com (could there be a name giving away more?); made some blueberry pie and wanted to watch the "Romantics", the first movie Daniel has ever gotten credits for..didn't make it..my drooling after 5 min indicating it was time to go to bed.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Day 3: Hermosa beach...a signpost saying "Keep the beach clean", factories along the shore..American flags reminding visitors with short memories every 5 meters which nation you are in; a woman tripping on the sidewalk and her boyfriend, wanting to express his loyalty towards her (=hoping to receive a reward in the form of vaginal entry later on), verbally and physically attacking this piece of infrastructure. Well, of course it had definitely nothing to do with the woman's clumsiness.
At nighttime: finally being really disappointed: no big boobs spotted so far...a college bar where men usually only want two things: getting laid, or, if this is not possible, getting in a fight while taking off their shirts and flexing their muscles. the hours spent at the gym with clenched teeth and drenched sweaty towels must be good for something...
At nighttime: finally being really disappointed: no big boobs spotted so far...a college bar where men usually only want two things: getting laid, or, if this is not possible, getting in a fight while taking off their shirts and flexing their muscles. the hours spent at the gym with clenched teeth and drenched sweaty towels must be good for something...
Monday, August 20, 2012
Day 2: the getty museum: being situated on a hill overlooking the vast lands of l.a. aka neighbourhoods in search of a city. again a clear smogless sky. and a great tourist-guide by my side..my own personal lonely planet called daniel with whom one is never lonely. the museum itself houses art and photography. in danger of getting over-klimted (it shows a lot of art deco of klimt), we decided to concentrate on the photography section presenting the work of herb ritts, being famous for the athleticism in his portraits.
since reaching this level of body perfection will never be within the realms of the possible for us, we decided to fuck it and concentrate on enjoying life fully (especially calory-wise) by going to a fancy restaurant called "bazaar" which concentrates on molecular gastronomy and was, according to dan, designed by a drunk arab. as pieces of art emperors were being on display that slowly transformed into monkeys. favourite dish of the night: fois gras hidden underneath some cotton candy (since the selling of fois gras itself has been banned, one has to get creative to still get it sold).
since reaching this level of body perfection will never be within the realms of the possible for us, we decided to fuck it and concentrate on enjoying life fully (especially calory-wise) by going to a fancy restaurant called "bazaar" which concentrates on molecular gastronomy and was, according to dan, designed by a drunk arab. as pieces of art emperors were being on display that slowly transformed into monkeys. favourite dish of the night: fois gras hidden underneath some cotton candy (since the selling of fois gras itself has been banned, one has to get creative to still get it sold).
Day 1: breakfast at "the griddle": american-sized portions of pancakes bigger than the ufo in independence day. getting rid of some calories by hiking up the ranyon canyon to get a good view of the smog hanging over the city. to my disappointment, the sky was clear and on the way up there were no fake griddle-pancake-sized boobs to be seen. so my first impressions fulfilled the cliche image europeans being u.s.a-virgins have only halfway.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Tiny homes
THE SEARCH FOR THE SMALLEST SOVEREIGN STATES!
aka, the Dot Country Quest!
What is a dot country? According to the Oxford English Dictionary, dot countries are small fucking countries. They look like tiny little dots on a map, too small to reveal borders like the grandiose expanse of America or the big-sack-of-balls-and-small-penis shape of Austria.
At first Serendipity was uninterested--some might say outright critical--of the Dot Country Quest. She contended that dot countries are boring, expensive and are exactly like their neighbors but more boring and expensive. After much convincing, conniving, physical violence, emotional abuse and drugging, I finally convinced her it was a swell idea.
First stop: Liechtenstein!
Fun Facts:
- Liechtenstein is the second richest country in the world (GDP PPP) at over $98,000. (The highest is fellow dot-country Qatar).
- Liechtenstein is the last great brutal dictatorship in Western Europe. Technically a constitutional monarchy, the Prince wields veto powers and the ability to dissolve parliament.
- These facts are boring and you can find them on Wikipedia.
So was it worth it?
I think so. For us it was a part of a larger trip to Vorarlberg, and while Liechtenstein definitely was indistinguishable from it's neighbors, that didn't make it any less beautiful. Our first stop was the main tourist street in the capital, Vaduz:
Yeah, that's about the size of the whole city. We walked around, got an expensive but delicious lunch, and brutally violated their women:
I took advantage of Liechtenstein's primary tourist attraction:
One of the benefits of dot countries is that you can literally walk across the whole shebang. We're lazy, so we just walked the 5km between Vaduz and Schaan. The hike over was nice. We saw the home of the castle (the novelty of which diminishes exponentially the more time you spend in Europe):
Despite an embarrassing encounter with a native on the trail (sexual-inuendo winky face), we still managed to leave our mark:
Clocking in at a cool 5806 residents, Schaan is the biggest city in Liechtenstein. Schaan had some kind of city festival going on, including wine spritzer cocktail things that could fill an entire thimble and cost 7 CHF (about $7.25...a bargain in Liechtenstein!). We wised up and got dollar beers at the supermarket.
Liechtenstein also has it's own beer.
So to recap: Yes, Liechtenstein looks like everything else around it. But what's around it is gorgeous. Thomas Kincaid (RIP) would have loved it, and not just because of their lenient public urination policies. But whatever you do, don't say anything bad about the Prince! However, his wife's weird eyes are fair game:
Oh, and in a bid to compete with Qatar...they have camels!!
GRADES, on a scale of 5 dots to 1 (smaller being better, duh):
Fun: . .
Beauty: .
Food: . . .
Dot-hood: . . . (only the 4th smallest country in Europe!)
Shady banking activity: .
Presence of camels: . .
Overall: . .
Serendipity requested her own grading rubric. Her evaluation:
Next stop: Andorra!
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Thursday, May 3, 2012
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
A guide to understanding men (which, when it comes to the exchange of intimacies and body fluids, is not that difficult)..and a small compilation of things your partner might say before he will have sex with you:
-Let me just put on my comfortable trousers
-My dick is cold..it needs a vagina to warm up
-I will not move - and just stay inside for a minute
-I have just done a 12 minute IQ-test on the internet and have found out that I am only gifted and not a genius...I need some vagina attention for my ego now
-Let me just put on my comfortable trousers
-My dick is cold..it needs a vagina to warm up
-I will not move - and just stay inside for a minute
-I have just done a 12 minute IQ-test on the internet and have found out that I am only gifted and not a genius...I need some vagina attention for my ego now
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
mocking beards and mockingbirds
Fashion in 2011: The Nazi-moustache
2012 beard fashion according to "Nerds only":white, long and tangled (it doesnt matter if you wear the Santa Claus beard on your head or in your face as long as the criteria mentioned above is being followed)
..when he found out his wife was cheating on him with a coke bloke from Colombia, she told him it was because she felt appalled by the way he was disgracing this honorable drug business by constantly powdering his nose with Bavarian sugar doughnuts
..he was dreaming about being a Cowboy one day, already working on his moustache...and hoping for another, even stronger pre-mature hormone boost (caus it still resembled too much Aunt Selma´s facial hair)Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Up the Down Escalator
After realizing that the Republicans were secretly working with the aliens to brainwash society and keep the working man down, I put on my Ray Ban knockoffs, saw the world how it really is, chewed some bubble gum and kicked ass.
All that is to say, I have found a home and life finally appears on the upswing. Since I had a little change in my pocket and since the NY (Football) Giants were in the Super Bowl, I decided to celebrate my good fortune like a true poor person: By gambling it away. But no mere Indian casino or riverboat would do...Vegas was the only choice.
Instead of boring you with another "What happened in Vegas" story (and for legal reason, since the police are bound to find those dead hookers eventually), I'll present a Vegas guide for the down-on-his-luck degenerate.
THE VAGABOND'S GUIDE TO VEGAS (IN FIVE EASY STEPS):
1) Drop the kids somewhere safe and wholesome:
2) Pick a dish from the discount menu:
3) Do the deed and whatever you do, DON'T return to the scene of the crime:
4) Spend your hard-earned dollars in less time than it takes for your wife to say "I want a divorce":
...and think about how you'll be with your Nena in just one month!
All that is to say, I have found a home and life finally appears on the upswing. Since I had a little change in my pocket and since the NY (Football) Giants were in the Super Bowl, I decided to celebrate my good fortune like a true poor person: By gambling it away. But no mere Indian casino or riverboat would do...Vegas was the only choice.
Instead of boring you with another "What happened in Vegas" story (and for legal reason, since the police are bound to find those dead hookers eventually), I'll present a Vegas guide for the down-on-his-luck degenerate.
THE VAGABOND'S GUIDE TO VEGAS (IN FIVE EASY STEPS):
1) Drop the kids somewhere safe and wholesome:
2) Pick a dish from the discount menu:
3) Do the deed and whatever you do, DON'T return to the scene of the crime:
4) Spend your hard-earned dollars in less time than it takes for your wife to say "I want a divorce":
5) And finally, go find the one peaceful place on the Strip...
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Food philosophy
When you go to an origninally Chinese restaurant that has recently changed its name to "Asian Fusion Cuisine" caus of the New Wave Sushi obsession, don´t get Japanese food...or be prepared for some Chinese-tasting Japanese wanna-be.
...Or close your eyes
....Or get some chocolate and nice Skype-talk instead
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Ok, I have an apartment.
And I have a job.
But I am a "waschechte Wienerin". So I regard it as my duty to complain caus that´s part of our national identity. Even though, of course, I do it purely out of patriotic feelings and not because I really want to.
For friends of lists and/or Austrian souls:..a small collections of what you don´t want at work:
1. Patients who come too early and complain that they have to wait too long.
2. Patients who come too late and complain that they have to wait too long.
3. Patients with a distorted perception of their own physics, a wish to undergo plastic surgery, but a dread of plastic knives, surgeons´knives, needles, doctors´smocks...and basically everything needed to balloon-size their perfectly shaped breasts.
4. Patients that look at you from top till toe and say: Where I come from only doctors are allowed to do this kind of examination. (P.S.: Is there a plastic surgery to make you look older?)
5. Patients.
Tomorrow there will be a better day - with old grandmothers whose cheeks you wanna pinch.
And I have a job.
But I am a "waschechte Wienerin". So I regard it as my duty to complain caus that´s part of our national identity. Even though, of course, I do it purely out of patriotic feelings and not because I really want to.
For friends of lists and/or Austrian souls:..a small collections of what you don´t want at work:
1. Patients who come too early and complain that they have to wait too long.
2. Patients who come too late and complain that they have to wait too long.
3. Patients with a distorted perception of their own physics, a wish to undergo plastic surgery, but a dread of plastic knives, surgeons´knives, needles, doctors´smocks...and basically everything needed to balloon-size their perfectly shaped breasts.
4. Patients that look at you from top till toe and say: Where I come from only doctors are allowed to do this kind of examination. (P.S.: Is there a plastic surgery to make you look older?)
5. Patients.
Tomorrow there will be a better day - with old grandmothers whose cheeks you wanna pinch.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Guide to be with the Homeless Rule # 1
If you are planning on doing some social research on the life of the poor in America, L.A. (and it doesn´t involve young actresses without talent, but full of longing for fame and fortune - caus it wouldn´t be worth the hassle), there is one convenient method for Austrians:
prostitute yourself for your job by doing clinic work and patient examinations that the specialist physician gets all the money for (in case you need some mental input on how to achieve that: take an american wanna-be actress as an example...it´s basically the same....just a little worse caus it´s not as easy as successfully performing a BJ on a producer full of coke and viagra).
Anyhow, in 6 months time you might be able to afford some travelling. And within 6 years you might be in a position as a specialist to finally retaliate by taking advantage of young doctors eager to learn more about medicine.. and about the living conditions of homeless Americans. If, well, if you really see that as a goal in life.
prostitute yourself for your job by doing clinic work and patient examinations that the specialist physician gets all the money for (in case you need some mental input on how to achieve that: take an american wanna-be actress as an example...it´s basically the same....just a little worse caus it´s not as easy as successfully performing a BJ on a producer full of coke and viagra).
Anyhow, in 6 months time you might be able to afford some travelling. And within 6 years you might be in a position as a specialist to finally retaliate by taking advantage of young doctors eager to learn more about medicine.. and about the living conditions of homeless Americans. If, well, if you really see that as a goal in life.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
A brief respite
In America, the two preferred methods for delaying major life problems (e.g., homelessness) are 1) alcohol and 2) football. Relying on one of the above will get the job done; when you can accomplish both, eres un vagabundo en paraiso.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Guide to Being Homeless, Rule #2
When money is short, rely on your own natural & renewable resources to find your next meal.
Example: You are hungry. Mickey D's has your favorite golden-brown fried chicken products...but you don't have any billz or bling. Follow the simple 1-step plan of fellow Angelino Khadijah Baseer detailed below:
"A woman approached cars at a Mc Donalds drive-thru in Burbank, California offering sex for Chicken Mc Nuggets, KTLA-TV in Los Angeles reports. A customer said Khadijah Baseer of Los Angeles offered him sexual services for his golden nuggets, but he declined. We do not know if she offered different services based the nuggets being a six, nine, or 20 piece."
Will this work for you? Hey...it could happen.
http://newsone.com/nation/newsonestaff6/prostitute-offers-sex-for-mcnuggets-khadijah-baseer/
Example: You are hungry. Mickey D's has your favorite golden-brown fried chicken products...but you don't have any billz or bling. Follow the simple 1-step plan of fellow Angelino Khadijah Baseer detailed below:
"A woman approached cars at a Mc Donalds drive-thru in Burbank, California offering sex for Chicken Mc Nuggets, KTLA-TV in Los Angeles reports. A customer said Khadijah Baseer of Los Angeles offered him sexual services for his golden nuggets, but he declined. We do not know if she offered different services based the nuggets being a six, nine, or 20 piece."
Will this work for you? Hey...it could happen.
http://newsone.com/nation/newsonestaff6/prostitute-offers-sex-for-mcnuggets-khadijah-baseer/
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Guide to Being Homeless, Rule #1
Booze is an excellent currency to trade for shelter and/or more booze (just make sure you don't end up drinking it yourself to escape the pink flying elephants that chase you every time you snort old paint thinner found in a dumpster).
After the flat (or apartment as my American fellas would say)-situation had been resolved, the next hill was waiting to be climbed in the process of becoming rich, famous and even more awesome: jobsearch.
But where to begin?
Step 1: Trying to find out what you really want. As I am positive that I will still not have found an answer to that on my deathbed (oh wait, taking a closer look, that´s not so positive at all), let´s go to step 2: Getting a job where there is actually money involved (taking into account a bros´ advice: http://www.broslikethissite.com/2011/12/186-not-doing-volunteer-work.html).
So here I am, sitting in a cybercafé, calling one doctor after the other and drinking turkish tea that is as bitter as the aftertaste that every "no" from a possibly frustrated, chain-smoking unloved wife and underestimated secretary leaves behind.
As I am writing this, a phone-call: and a half-yes! A doctor who might take me, but is not sure if it would be counted for my job-experience.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EiXEPZiDGzs
But where to begin?
Step 1: Trying to find out what you really want. As I am positive that I will still not have found an answer to that on my deathbed (oh wait, taking a closer look, that´s not so positive at all), let´s go to step 2: Getting a job where there is actually money involved (taking into account a bros´ advice: http://www.broslikethissite.com/2011/12/186-not-doing-volunteer-work.html).
So here I am, sitting in a cybercafé, calling one doctor after the other and drinking turkish tea that is as bitter as the aftertaste that every "no" from a possibly frustrated, chain-smoking unloved wife and underestimated secretary leaves behind.
As I am writing this, a phone-call: and a half-yes! A doctor who might take me, but is not sure if it would be counted for my job-experience.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EiXEPZiDGzs
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
The countdown begins.
Three more days of homefullness. After that, all donations may be sent to the alleyway between 6th St and Figueroa. Only malt liquor wrapped in paper bags accepted. Thank you in advance for your generosity.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
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