mocking beards and mockingbirds

Fashion in 2011: The Nazi-moustache



2012 beard fashion according to "Nerds only":
white, long and tangled (it doesnt matter if you wear the Santa Claus beard on your head or in your face as long as the criteria mentioned above is being followed)

..when he found out his wife was cheating on him with a coke bloke from Colombia, she told him it was because she felt appalled by the way he was disgracing this honorable drug business by constantly powdering his nose with Bavarian sugar doughnuts

..he was dreaming about being a Cowboy one day, already working on his moustache...and hoping for another, even stronger pre-mature hormone boost (caus it still resembled too much Aunt Selma´s facial hair)

A flat for princes of Maine, and future kings of New England

Up the Down Escalator

After realizing that the Republicans were secretly working with the aliens to brainwash society and keep the working man down, I put on my Ray Ban knockoffs, saw the world how it really is, chewed some bubble gum and kicked ass.

All that is to say, I have found a home and life finally appears on the upswing. Since I had a little change in my pocket and since the NY (Football) Giants were in the Super Bowl, I decided to celebrate my good fortune like a true poor person: By gambling it away. But no mere Indian casino or riverboat would do...Vegas was the only choice.

Instead of boring you with another "What happened in Vegas" story (and for legal reason, since the police are bound to find those dead hookers eventually), I'll present a Vegas guide for the down-on-his-luck degenerate.

THE VAGABOND'S GUIDE TO VEGAS (IN FIVE EASY STEPS):

1) Drop the kids somewhere safe and wholesome:

2) Pick a dish from the discount menu:

3) Do the deed and whatever you do, DON'T return to the scene of the crime:

4) Spend your hard-earned dollars in less time than it takes for your wife to say "I want a divorce":

5) And finally, go find the one peaceful place on the Strip...

...and think about how you'll be with your Nena in just one month!

Food philosophy

When you go to an origninally Chinese restaurant that has recently changed its name to "Asian Fusion Cuisine" caus of the New Wave Sushi obsession, don´t get Japanese food...or be prepared for some Chinese-tasting Japanese wanna-be.

...Or close your eyes

....Or get some chocolate and nice Skype-talk instead